Some thoughts today.
I met someone once that told me he refused to fail at anything. Failure is for the weak. I think with that attitude you have already failed. Big time. And yes, his life was full of self-inflicted pain and misery.
We are all scared of failure and rejection. We want to belong, not stick out and be vulnerable. Sometimes it feels more comfortable to remain at the same place, rather than taking a chance and going for the scary goal. Being scared of failure is something that can really hold you back from doing what you want though.
What is failure to you? Does it really matter to fail? For what reason are you telling yourself it’s not ok to fail? What’s the worst that could happen? I think the fear of failure many people are haunted by, comes from something deep inside. Something related to your own demons and your vulnerable self. Maybe a child-like feeling. “Everyone is going to know I didn’t make it.” I think this fear is much bigger than the fear of losing money for instance, because this type of fear is connected to you as a person – to your identity.
But you create your own rules and boundaries. Trying something that does not work is simply a step towards finding out what actually does work.
I used to be ashamed and angry at my own mistakes. I wanted to hide them and not let anyone see it – not even myself. I didn’t want to look at the work I had done that was bad. I just kept on moving, instead of trying to look into it and actually learn from it. Knowing a mistake means you are willing to learn from it and grow. You have to face your fears sometimes, and be brave about it. Learn from it and educate yourself from it. How else are you going to improve anything? Worst case is you will end up making the same mistake again. On the other hand, you might get a completely different result than last time, and maybe you will finally feel the sensation of achievement you are searching for? Maybe writing down thoughts and feelings that make you feel small or vulnerable can help. Get to know your weaknesses.
