This was first a diary, but then I thought: why not just share it. There’s so much to learn from competing. Maybe someone else can benefit too. But keep in mind that I have written this for myself.
Results:
Squat: 140 squat (-5kg). Failed twice 147,5kg. Very disappointed.
Bench: 77,5 bench (equal pr). Failed 80. Frustrated. But happy 77,5kg was very easy and form on point.
Deadlift: 167,5 deadlift (2,5kg pr). 147,5 and 157,5 easy. Left a couple of kilos on the platform. Very happy.
385 total and +2,5kg on the total. The goal was 400 total.
Warming up I could feel the regular weights in the squat were heavy. It may not have shown, but it was like my nervous system could not fire properly, and I felt so extremely tired. Like I could lay down anywhere and fall asleep. I tried to control that feeling. To keep calm. But I could feel the anxiety creeping up on me. But I didn’t say it. I kept it for myself. Which was not the greatest decision. I should have shared it with Jeroen, who coached me.
Squat didn’t go as I wanted. I had to get away from people afterwards, before warming up for bench. I went into a room next to the warm up area, and let my emotions free. I was sad because of all the life stuff happening, and realizing that it had finally caught up with my performance. It was really a lesson to be learned. I also got good support and a warm hug from one of the other girls competing. She was also struggling with her own life stuff. That support truly helped.
Letting the emotions free made space for building back up. I turned it around as best I could. For that I am proud. And deadlift didn’t disappoint😎 Bench was also not so bad. Back in the game there, after struggling to find the right bench shirt.
Some notes for the future, to remember:
If you warm up and feel like the weight is heavier than normal, trust that feeling and let the coach know. It’s ok to lower the weight. If the coach thinks the weight is right, and you don’t, you can talk about it together. Then you don’t have to decide alone if the feeling of it being heavy is in your head or not. The coach is there to help you with this as well, and an experienced coach will know how to do so.
Even though a lift doesn’t go the way you want: finish. That’s a victory in itself. And managing to pull yourself together when the day is less good than normal, is an achievement. A different one than increasing numbers.
Adjusting the weights accordingly is a skill. You know how to do so, so put the ego aside. Know when to take risks, and not.
It’s ok to be ambitious, but be realistic on the day itself. You cannot foresee everything, and no matter how resilient you are, you cannot always conquer what you want. That needs acceptance.
You are in it for the long haul.
You are doing it because you love it. Because it is fun. Especially the technical part of lifting equipped. Every step is visualized and gradually perfected.
And because you learn something new every time. About your body, your capabilities and your mentality.
Especially your mentality. Battling difficult emotions. And when lifting equipped: also discomfort and to some degree pain. You learn to use it. To channel it into power and release it at the right moment.
How to handle the day before the competition when it comes to sleep and rest:
Try to have two calm days before the competition as best you can. Especially the evening. Time to be mindful and go slow motion for a few hours. Have plenty of time to go to bed, so you don’t feel like you have to rush to go to sleep.
This requires some planning, but most of all prioritizing yourself. Be mindful about your own needs.
All attempts in order:
